In the previous post I used the phrase "I've been in states where I could just kill everybody". Clearly that was an overstatement. I've never been in such a state. I mean, I've never actually entertained such thoughts. I meant by it, I was in states where I was so pushed and pressured that I could do something stupid against my own interests, easily. And when I'd take the first step in that direction I'd experience an almost involuntary paralysis (which is also an overstated way of putting it). Like a higher being appeared saying: "No, not going to let you do it." And of course my own thoughts, being so refined from study and learning higher things and unburying conscience and so on (I'm not joking), would make me feel (and look) guilty
[Blogger went down at this point saving only the above portion of my post as I was writing it.]
OK, I'll try to finish my thoughts, which I am far away from the genesis of now. Anyway, that guilt and shame-faced look is a sign of consciousness of guilt to the world and so they think you're guilty by default and also a coward and everything else (I forgot what I was going to say).
It's all about being outnumbered too. One vs. the General Law. Whining, but also true in a way that is real for rare types (I'm not joking - type #4's) and not just anybody.
I remember I had a third paragraph that was on a different subject yet summed the post up well, but I've completely forgotten it.
Here's a new book: The Inner Sanctum of Puritan Piety (John Flavel's Doctrine of Mystical Union with Christ) by J. Stephen Yuille. Just published this month. Paperback. Inexpensive.
In Work language Real I is Christ. Here's a quote I just found tonight; the author of it is talking about Gurdjieff:
"Because of his novel way of explaining things, because of his flamboyant and apparently egotistical style of teaching that made it too easy to judge him a charlatan and so avoid the searching questions raised by his very existence, and because he disguised or left out certain Christian dogmas that would have been unacceptable to his students, nearly every committed Christian has ignored him."It's from here.
