Some Notes

I want to repeat that prayer is rather effective in this process of containing and transforming accumulated energy. I hesitate to say it was there all the time because I think you have to develop into not only a recognition and understanding of the fact of it itself, but in that developing involves everything associated with the big change of coming into the faith in a real way. Prayer and fasting: the "reins" of volition of real will. Effecting - doing - in higher time.

I can see an immediate stumblingblock is now thinking prayer is giving you control when you've actually not made real efforts to accumulate higher energy to begin with. Or been half-hearted in those efforts.

But that can be tested. You experience the energy in you even as you have new control over it. I mean, little - what I called - "micro bursts" of violence or just unusual heat in thought or speech or action. Nothing out-of-control, just enough to let you know you have real above normal levels of energy - higher energy - in you. I was in a typical family get-together recently (the kind where each of them has a flame-thrower and you're the only one with a target on you) and I was just floating from event to event. The flames went right through me. Half the time I didn't even know they were goading me. I was like Francis of Assisi. I was non-insultable. (OK, I don't know much about Francis of Assisi, but the image is of an innocent guy you couldn't insult if you tried.)

Note on the above: I don't want to give a false impression that my family members were in some wild, coordinated orgy of attack on me. They were actually very nice, in that "OK, everybody, shhhh, he's coming into the room again" way. But you know how the mechanical words can come out of the mouths. (I'm sure I'm doing similar things to them, in some way, hopefully not like in my past though - HOPEFULLY.)